The First Week of College

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From a kid to an adult. From seeing U/A movies to officially (!) viewing A movies. Time comes for everything. In life, if you don’t happen to be suffering from mental diseases or have died early or have committed suicide, you will have the time to enjoy every pleasure, every pain, the entire world’s happiness and sadness.

So time came for me to put a full stop to school and write a new chapter with a new pen: College. After a hell lot of brainwashing and hard decisions about my future, I chose my college. But I did not take into account weather I would be blessed with a girlfriend who looked like the moon (Well it’s proverbial).

My first day was the precursor of how boring lectures can be in college, as we were subjected to hours of lectures by some prominent inspirational personalities who can only motivate others. That was our induction programme and the management welcoming us, but I slept through half of the lectures. Imagine a teacher asking you to dream as big as an Industrialist… Why did the teacher not dream like that? They know how mobiles work, and being in the communication department, I would be taught in the next four years how it really works. They have managers who are no match for even IIM graduates (as they boosted). Yet they could not open a company like Nokia to compete in the market.

Within hours of getting inside a classroom, I decided to choose some girl in my class to ogle at. At least in that way I would have something to think while all the boring lectures were on.

It was difficult to know the names of all the shy girls of our class since most were a member of the mute creatures club of the class, who opened there mouth only to mark their attendance, as if the air would erode their teeth. It was not that they didn’t know any answer but they would simply decline to express their views. I, by nature did not belong to that club and would open my mouth to talk non-sense to my neighbour when the teacher turned back and occasionally when in mood, participate in the complex process of discussing and solving the questions thrown by the lecturers. The best thing about standing up and answering a question in class is that you get the girl you like (and the girls you don’t) to at least have a look at you and stare officially for the time you are giving an answer.

Though the college is a co-educational one, there seemed to be a virtual wall present between the girls and the boys. Just like the public buses have seats specially meant for the weaker sex, the front two benches got reserved for the girls and the nerds from the very first day. No I don’t mean that the girls and nerds sat together. There were spaces as big as football fields between them.

The next bench is usually occupied by the Romeos of the class. These guys are the ones who will pass remarks and give a running commentary and make funny sounds only to entertain the girls and tried their best to start a conversation with the girls. The most priced seat was just beside this Romeo. If you seat there you will enjoy the Romeo trying his best to flirt with the Juliet, but failing miserably.

The boy girl ratio was exceptionally large and I thought that the colleges should have a quota for the girls. Sadly in our class of about 55 or 58 students only 9 were girls. With no girl capable of modelling, you have to eye the best looking girl and competing with every one and making her your girlfriend is a tough thing to do, until and unless you have a six pack or can play the bass guitar or use Axe deodorants. I have doubts about the proven use of the last method though. The same thing was there in the other years as well. So the seniors had their way of making sure that the girls stay fresh for them and are not rotten by the glances of her batch mates.

They decided to make a rule and make everyone follow it. If not followed that would mean gross disrespect of the seniors and only your most friendly gangster can help you out of ragging in their hands. The rule was that the girls were supposed to wear traditional clothes like the salwar-kameez. That would automatically take away the lustful stares of the new batch mates who were either single in school or from boys’ school. So basically falling in love or lusting or having some real crush was a distant thing meant only after the “fresher’s”, where the new college guys are welcomed by their seniors. The management tough welcomed us long ago but we were all unwelcomed inside the campus ruled by the seniors.