The Long Break

Its been quite some time since my last post in this blog. I don't exactly know who all are following my blog. But yeah, a few people did come up and inquired why exactly there were being no posts for quite a long time. Even I could not answer everybody but was thrilled to find out that there were certain followers of my blog who knew me personally and do follow the updates regularly.


Now on the 1st of Jan I make a resolution of making at least one post a month in my blog.
When I first started this blog, I had in mind that I would be posting almost every week and would post about my life. But as it turns out, I end up abandoning my blog for almost two months.


Its not that I can't save enough time for posting or writing, I have saved many drafts on my laptop, but have stepped back from uploading and posting then on this blog for the reason being that most are related to real life events and are too personal to be posted publicly, and if posted it might lead to hurting the emotions of many people in my life. So what happens is that the blog becomes out dated. I found out that if I had to make the posts, I had to edit and make these into stories in such a way like I had made one before so that it becomes exceedingly difficult for any one to figure out who the characters are in real life.






All these days I was busy with my tough college schedule, which involved me beating the alarm clock (which kind of gets difficult in the winter) and then going to college and return home tired after a hard days work, err fun. My college life in the last few months was full of activities, ranging from some fun events in the Fresher's welcome to the exciting Robotics to the Semester.


Let me brief you about what all exactly happened in the first half of my college life.


The Freshers welcome was all about having fun and at the same time getting to know your batch mates and seniors. With various fun competitions around ranging from acting in the dramas to running for the mini-"amazing race", it was a fun interlude in the other wise frustrating and boring lectures of the lecturers and professors. Along with that there was some great jamming and a DJ Night.


Next month we had some exciting robotics in which we made toy robo-cars all by ourselves and competed in a race. It was fun to see our own machines in action and race through almost all types of terrains from sand, to inclined planes and rough terrain full of stones. There was also nets and a pool of water, basically the whole track resembled more of something which a highway becomes if the government spends all its money just to buy votes for the next election. :P


And after all this you of course can't bypass the semester exams. And what else, this time I gave the exam setting a new record of not cheating even a 1/2 marks question. Reason, the seating arrangement and the invigilators were such that you are forced to burn the midnight oil and study, and be independent in life. While you are giving the exam, if you fall asleep, you wont wake up, because the students resemble dead human beings with no noise. Even in my school exams I had to show or see. College is completely different!!!




Well thats it for now, meet you guys later some time to give you a more detailed story. For my nest half year, I can't imagine how I will spend. I have so many activities lined up and there are many many exciting activities. I wont post about them now, but only when I have done them. I'll post soon, this was just to keep you updated about my life.

I Quit

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This is a suicide note which has been written by me on behalf of Arka, the numb imaginary character of a drama for my college fest. Any resemblance to the life of any living or dead or imaginary filmy character is purely co-incidental. This is the first and the longest draft of the note and had undergone a lot of editing before it was finally used.

I don’t know who you are but thanks for opening this note and for your interest to know the reason behind my death.

For me, life was like a one-act play which forced me to adhere to an unalterable script by my parents and limited me to only one performance on stage – performing in my exams. Nothing else was important to them.

Since birth, due to no fault of mine, I appear to have a low IQ and thus failure to perform in exams was not new. Scolding and thrashing at home especially on the days of report cards was a common affair. My elder brother became their ideal child and they forced me to make him my idol. He was a nerd and I had never seen him at the sports events. All day and night he used to be in his study.

Of late the thrashings and torture meted out to me in my home became unbearable. This was because no good school was offering me science after my class 10 results. My dad took it as an insult. The only thing that they wanted was marks. My medals in sports and performance at the local football club were of no value to them.

Last week it went to a new level, when he burnt my certificates for the athletics and strongly insulted my love for sports. Dad, to you sports means simply wastage of time. I know, but not everyone thinks like you and you can’t force me to think like you. Dad, I was good in sports. So what if I won’t be a doctor one day? I can earn more as a footballer. I tried to bring this up whenever I found you in a good mood, but it just used to spoil your mood. If you really had so much interest for studies, why are you a business man? You could have become a scientist. Why do you want me to fulfil your dream? I am your son, not your slave. I tried to explain this to you many times, but your ears are deaf.

I would be missing my home and my brother. I love you bro. Fulfil dad’s dream and become a scientist someday. I know you can, that’s why I am telling you. Keep our parents happy and happiness will run after you. I tried, but I can’t fulfil my dad’s dream and become like you. So I will go away forever from you guys. No more fights at home and disturbances for your studies.

I did speak to Priya. I told her about my problems, she asked me to fight on and she will always be with all my decisions. I know you didn’t mean this. My dear, I’m sorry. I could not keep your promise. I know how you are feeling right now. But I had no option. Studies were killing me. Your thoughts helped me, but the pressure my parents were putting up was much more than your love. Priya, I am sorry. Move on in life, and may you find all the happiness the world has to offer. I loved you truly, but dad also did not like me loving you more than studies.

The club football games were awesome. I would miss them the most. It was the only thing that kept me from taking this step, but now I feel I have lost the war with my dad. He has forced me to take this step.

Suman, I know you will rock one day. You were my best friend. Lead the team well and the district football trophy would be ours this time. I know you have the capability and we will surely win.

A wise man once said “We all get two lives - the one we learn with and the other we live with after that”. I had thought for a while after reading his words on the internet. Then I thought when will this second life of mine come when I can follow my heart and enjoy? When will I be free from the bondage of my parents? But when I will grow up, I won’t be able to love the things I want to love. I won’t have the age to play the games. I will be more mature then.

My world’s dark. The curtains of my drama won’t ever rise up after this.

I know I didn’t have the courage to go and follow my heart and run away from my home. I needed support. I would never choose to exist in a way which others want me to…

I repeat, these incidents have got no similarity with my life or any of my friend's life…

Hey First Year, Come Here.

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That is the last thing a fresher wants to hear from a group of seniors waiting like hungry wolves for their prey, with an attractive and friendly smile to lure that new super cool fresher with overflowing attitude.

The first day of college; you think of all the freedom your heart desired. From holding the hand of a beautiful girl and standing and rising on the escalator of that new city mall to hanging around with the new group of friends you will make in college. You come there with a lot of expectations. The ever addictive common room and the most boring lectures of that old professor you hate. Your good friend giving proxies to keep your attendance good and you kicking the ball for the best goal of the tournament; late night chats in the hostel and the "you are too late, get out" words of that strict professor who starts the day.

But after dreaming for some time your throat gets dry with the thought of "ragging" famous in common rooms, canteens, parks, hostels of colleges, and especially engineering and medical colleges. You think about reconsidering your decision and then think of how easily you will get that dream job once you pass engineering. Finally you are in the first year and the college authority welcomes you warmly but the seniors are angry and you are purely unwelcomed by them.

Here are my experiences as a fresher. I will never forget how my college life started.

First Day First Show:

My seniors escorted me and I entered my college classroom for the first time. It was a new thing. A life I always dreamt of. The class settled down. Instead of a teacher, we had some seniors sitting on the teacher's table.

I immediately thought of dating that girl on the teacher's table, but all those thoughts were very short lived, thanks to the ferocious eyes and the fake smile of the two senior boys beside her. We had been given food packets and were supposed to have them in that room after a session of inspirational and over boring lectures on life. The tension and fear of ragging and humiliation was so much that the guys did not even have the guts to open the food packets. The senior who everyone at first sight would consider to be a rude turned out to be very polite and at the next moment, almost begged us to start eating, "This does not suffice for lunch, but you will have be satisfied with this. Try adjusting yourself to your new college". I looked at my packet, it was half over. I was not being able to only smell the food and not eat it.

Next, the fresher's sat like remote controlled robots, waiting for their senior to pass on the next order they are supposed to follow. On one side I was there wanting to explore the new building and college. And the others, they wanted to get out of the college as soon as possible, to escape ragging. I was not much afraid, as by looking at the seniors you can say, they are experienced in solving problems and answering questions then questioning someone. Also most were not bothered to rag us. All they said was to follow the seniors and do whatever they tell you to escape ragging.

Out of curiosity and not being able to sit any longer I walked up to them to ask for the restroom. When one senior escorted me there, a chain of guys followed. Can you imagine people sitting with empty food packets waiting for the next instruction of the seniors' weather to eat that like a cow or throw it or preserve it in their bag?

Now it started, one guy announced that they had a wish of implementing a dress code for their new brothers and (umm no not sisters). I guess the thing that they had in mind was either to make us look old fashioned or make it tougher for us to impress the girls wearing formals with no leather belts and watches. It was kind of weird without the belt, and also because we were college students and not some manager of a bank. The girls had to wear the traditional salwar-kameez which made us forget the meaning of lust in minutes. We were also asked to visit the canteen at our own risk due to the ragging prevalent amongst the guys there. (Later on when I turned up, they did not rag me, because they did not know what to do when a junior does not follow their rule of staying away from the canteen)

There was not much interaction with the seniors after that on that day. The day ended pretty fine with the main form of ragging being the dress code and if you don't follow it, you will be ragged. Actually the ones who dared not to follow were not ragged as the seniors had no idea what to do with those out-law. They themselves had always followed their then seniors and were never out lawed by them.

The First Week of College

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From a kid to an adult. From seeing U/A movies to officially (!) viewing A movies. Time comes for everything. In life, if you don’t happen to be suffering from mental diseases or have died early or have committed suicide, you will have the time to enjoy every pleasure, every pain, the entire world’s happiness and sadness.

So time came for me to put a full stop to school and write a new chapter with a new pen: College. After a hell lot of brainwashing and hard decisions about my future, I chose my college. But I did not take into account weather I would be blessed with a girlfriend who looked like the moon (Well it’s proverbial).

My first day was the precursor of how boring lectures can be in college, as we were subjected to hours of lectures by some prominent inspirational personalities who can only motivate others. That was our induction programme and the management welcoming us, but I slept through half of the lectures. Imagine a teacher asking you to dream as big as an Industrialist… Why did the teacher not dream like that? They know how mobiles work, and being in the communication department, I would be taught in the next four years how it really works. They have managers who are no match for even IIM graduates (as they boosted). Yet they could not open a company like Nokia to compete in the market.

Within hours of getting inside a classroom, I decided to choose some girl in my class to ogle at. At least in that way I would have something to think while all the boring lectures were on.

It was difficult to know the names of all the shy girls of our class since most were a member of the mute creatures club of the class, who opened there mouth only to mark their attendance, as if the air would erode their teeth. It was not that they didn’t know any answer but they would simply decline to express their views. I, by nature did not belong to that club and would open my mouth to talk non-sense to my neighbour when the teacher turned back and occasionally when in mood, participate in the complex process of discussing and solving the questions thrown by the lecturers. The best thing about standing up and answering a question in class is that you get the girl you like (and the girls you don’t) to at least have a look at you and stare officially for the time you are giving an answer.

Though the college is a co-educational one, there seemed to be a virtual wall present between the girls and the boys. Just like the public buses have seats specially meant for the weaker sex, the front two benches got reserved for the girls and the nerds from the very first day. No I don’t mean that the girls and nerds sat together. There were spaces as big as football fields between them.

The next bench is usually occupied by the Romeos of the class. These guys are the ones who will pass remarks and give a running commentary and make funny sounds only to entertain the girls and tried their best to start a conversation with the girls. The most priced seat was just beside this Romeo. If you seat there you will enjoy the Romeo trying his best to flirt with the Juliet, but failing miserably.

The boy girl ratio was exceptionally large and I thought that the colleges should have a quota for the girls. Sadly in our class of about 55 or 58 students only 9 were girls. With no girl capable of modelling, you have to eye the best looking girl and competing with every one and making her your girlfriend is a tough thing to do, until and unless you have a six pack or can play the bass guitar or use Axe deodorants. I have doubts about the proven use of the last method though. The same thing was there in the other years as well. So the seniors had their way of making sure that the girls stay fresh for them and are not rotten by the glances of her batch mates.

They decided to make a rule and make everyone follow it. If not followed that would mean gross disrespect of the seniors and only your most friendly gangster can help you out of ragging in their hands. The rule was that the girls were supposed to wear traditional clothes like the salwar-kameez. That would automatically take away the lustful stares of the new batch mates who were either single in school or from boys’ school. So basically falling in love or lusting or having some real crush was a distant thing meant only after the “fresher’s”, where the new college guys are welcomed by their seniors. The management tough welcomed us long ago but we were all unwelcomed inside the campus ruled by the seniors.

Rewind...

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My college started a week back and I was plunged into a hectic schedule. For the first few days the college hours were long with the "Orientation" program and some performances by senior students welcoming the freshers.


Today it was over a bit early and while on my way back home I passed in front of my school though while in a bus. It felt strange to see the juniors passing by the street. No one got into my bus. I stared at them hoping to make an eye contact. But all luck. I seem to have become an alien to the school with the start of college. Seems like I got isolated. No more school uniform. No more strangers asking me 'where is your school' or curiously seeing the monogram on my shirt. I became a stranger to this world. I lost an identity.


When I saw a guy waiting for his bus with a school ID card I felt like they are privileged to be still a part of my institution. I was no more one of them.


I had lost a recognition. Who would say that just a year back I used to walk on those streets in front of my school with my best buddies? My friends also disappeared as time passed. Everyone has either gone or will go to somewhere for some professional degree and compete to become successful in life. Even I am doing so.


A kid in the uniform was there. From his dress it was clear that he either had a fierce fight in the last period or had a great game of basketball or something in the games period. Comparing to myself I thought that how lazy I have become and how energetic they are. There was a time I use to run through the fields in my school or just play some silly "chor, police". Those used to be our favorite game. Who can imagine running after that friend all across the benches and jumping around. Nothing mattered except the strict glance of the teacher-in-charge or Vice Principal or Principal.
But now in college no one comes roaming to see what we are doing. But we also don't run on the benches given the freedom. The library of the school used to be one of the least visited places. But now the college library will become the second classroom.


The difference between the first year of college and the last year of school is also too much. In the last year, things like bunking classes or having some snacks when a sir is sweating out to write on the board or funny and adolescent back bencher comments to tease friends or to irritate teachers was a common thing. If people were asked to go out for not bringing a particular heavy maths book, we would go out even if we had the book. This happened in college and with a calculator this time... It took 10 mins for the professor to turn the culprits out and deny them of their attendance. People don't have private tuitions and they attend the class like making prayers to Jesus, err the lecturer. The labs are for hours and ultra-boring. No one is interested in making some fun stuff or some little mischief.


How can I forget my first crush?
And to see her the corridor rush....
Childhood love stories and sweethearts have a gloss of its own. Its always fresh. My first proposal in class 4 and my first rejection..... Well college is different. I tried to find my soul's calling in my class. Left it to see. But my soul closed his eyes and said to me "No one can replace your childhood sweetheart and rule me". I wore a special film on my spectacle to find some friend. The film suicided and said to me "This is not school, stop finding friends".....


College life is different. And sadly I have to change my timetable and write college in place of my school..!!!

Transition

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The past few weeks had been very tiring, and so I was unable to write in my blog. I had been over burdened with the work of making some tough decisions which will decide my altitude in the future. So my attitude had to be right at this time or I would have to live in a damn world of my own for my entire life.

I have graduated from school to college and so I will now be moving to a whole new world with a brand new bunch of friends and also opening a new diary to write new memories made in college.

Adding to this stress was the depression of losing friends. My close friends and classmates were either not in the city or planning to migrate or slowly disconnecting. But some of had also arranged for a last house party before a long period of separation. Whatever, the thoughts that stormed in my mind was how tough it would get keep in touch with my pals. From Hyderabad to Bangalore to Kerala to Rajasthan to Orissa, some one or the other had gone or is planning to leave. After years of close contact, for the first time we would be separated. These thoughts depressed me.

So I had packed myself up in a shell with no contact with the blogosphere. The Indian Monsoon had also hit hard, and there had been some lightning storms too. When I thought of my school, my brain recounted how I have walked the long road behind to come to this place and that the road continues. If I choose the right turning points, I might reach some port; from where I can get to the Treasure Island (earn some bucks at last). If I take the wrong way, I might just get lost in life’s maze.

Well can’t write more in this come back post as of now. If the pressure in college is not more than I can handle I will write more in my blog, else the frequency might decrease. But let’s hope for the best.

The Cartoon in my Life...

Possibility of any similarity with your life can't be ruled out. But still it is purely co-incidental and un-intentional and has got no relation with anyone living or dead.

If you are reading this in Facebook Notes, then you might find some formatting missing. To read the actual version of the story, please see the original post in my blog or click view original post at the end of the note.

Karan and Ananya…

Any similarity with the incidents described in this story with real life of any person weather leaving or dead is pure co-incidental and un-intentional. If you think you are one of the characters in the story then please stop reading further immediately.

If you are reading this in Facebook Notes, then you might find some formatting missing. To read the actual version of the story, please see the original post in my blog or click view original post at the end of the note.

Dreaming of Life

It was not until I was seventeen I realised that I would not be able to pursue my dream but in fact change my dream and fight harder for it to come true. I understood that in some places it would be easy and in some places it would be very tough.

I wanted to become something which did not require any educational qualifications but I improved in studies when in school. But after improvement people around me started expecting more from me. They wanted to see me higher than I could possibly reach. True, some were hypocritical and used to speak too much. Some said I deserve to go to places where most people only dream of going. I started considering myself privileged. But from my childhood I did not have much interest in going to those places. What I had interest in was not easy to achieve, but I would have enjoyed the process learning how to get there. A friend of mine decided to go there but due to my grades I am supposed to go somewhere else which I might like but not love. And if I think of following my dream, my family would consider me mad and people around me would consider me a liar and think my school grades to be lies.

Once I had thought of pursuing what I want after my +2 but now seems like I would complete graduation first. And after that my passion for my dream might be long gone.

I know I am not the only one facing this scenario, there are plenty like me.

Recently I came across a 16 year old boy in Wikipedia who already has two successful music albums released. He might have made his dream come true. In India things are different. Music composers are few and playback singers are more. In fact more Bollywood music comes from soundtracks. No aspiring artist from India has been able to achieve anything near this at the age of 16. They all complete their studies, sometimes miserable and then they go for it. But for people who have done well in exams and passed off with a good percentage, many of them do not get to follow their dreams but study and become respectable engineers or doctors.

Voice - May 19th 2010

It is entirely true that when I grew up I only went to a drawing school for a couple of months but, then left it because of many reasons. I don’t know whether I have an interest in drawing or painting or not, but my parents did sent me to a drawing class to learn drawing when I was a child. My teacher there who was a gf – I mean his age was like a grandfather. (C’mon gf not only means girlfriend)
Recently I was drawing in my laptop and I drew something which I decided to put up here.

This photo or rather computer art is about a landscape with mountains at night. It is near the poles so you can see auroras.
But this picture represents exactly my mind. It’s like I am all alone on a ship sailing through and far away there are mountains which are like the exam results, which I am expecting shortly, and after that there seems to be little light. The sea fades into the dark mountains just like the outer world presently appears dark to me. I am lonely and lost in the sea and searching for a land and have hopes that there is land, but don’t know how the land will turn out to be.
Till the last academical year, I was in school, but now I know I will be able to make it into a college but the type of college and all are unknown just like the dark mountains. The reflection of the great minds in the college who draws me towards it is the reflection of the auroras.
As of now, I can simply hope to reach the shore and hope that the light near the mountains would be good enough for no evil.

Potato Battery

What is this?
This is a way to generate electricity by using a potato.... Yes you read correctly... A Potato...!!
Here are the details:

What do I need?...

• One large Potato.
• A strip of Zinc. (A galvanized material will do too. Rough GI wires will also do)
• A piece of thick copper wire.
• A Multimeter / Voltmeter to measure the voltage.

The basic experiment is based on the principle that potato and many fruits and vegetables work as potential batteries!

For the zinc electrode, a large galvanized nail works well. Nails with a thick, rough zinc texture are preferable to galvanized nails that are smooth.

What Should I do?

Push both the nail and the wire deep into the potato. Measure voltage output by the potato battery with a voltmeter. Now, wasn't that easy?

Seriously, though, experiment with different metals, electrode depths, and electrode spacings to obtain the greatest voltage possible from the potato. Try other vegetables or fruits and compare voltage output with the same electrode metals.

It can be difficult to power a load with a single "potato" battery, so don't expect to light up an incandescent lamp or power a hobby motor or do anything like that. Even if the voltage output is adequate, a potato battery has a fairly high internal resistance which causes its voltage to "sag" badly under even a light load. With multiple potato batteries connected in series, parallel, or series-parallel arrangement, though, it is possible to obtain enough voltage and current capacity to power a small load.

I need an Illustration, please...

Replaying Games

Due to the extraordinary and unique system of education in India, when I came to class 11, in school, which was just 2 years back, I was forced to retire from my usual self and become a ‘good’ boy to do better in studies, and subsequently hope to do better in life. Well I had a passion towards playing computer games in my ideal time, when I no other application used to interest me in front of the computer.

This used to happen twice or thrice in a week if I did not have school and less that once a week if I had school. But I did used to collect computer games a lot and also had a nice collection of games to choose from when I wished to play. But due to studies I had to give up this passion and temporarily retire from the gaming world. I was then fully unaware of the titles releasing and what antipiracy checks was becoming the trend, what all pirated DVDs are available and so on and so forth.

As a student your pocket money is far less than the minimum price of a good game that you can play. So piracy is the only way. Yeah I did try to find out the prices of the original games just to get a shock and think of a time when I will have a job, earn well and buy these. But in those times these would appear as wastage of time and money. True, when you have the time to play games, you don’t have the money, when you know that you will get the money, you don’t have the time and passion for it.

But you have everything in this world. Go to a game parlour, buy these titles costing just a few bucks and you are done.

Now I am again into gaming but I am only my favourite title. I got it from a friend and now after 2 years of no game, I am experiencing one of the best games. It is true that things have changed a lot. Earlier the graphics was okay, I liked it, now I can’t help falling in love with it. Technology is running and developing faster than our thoughts. And the detailing in the game has also increased. Earlier you could hardly think of using a mobile or GPS in a game, now that usual. I was just amazed at the level gaming has been taken. Yes these games are resource intensive and require a lot of memory and other resources, but at the same time it provides a lot of entertainment, much more than you have expected.

After playing GTA IV, I can think of only one thing, what else would be coming up next. To what level will they take the next version to? GTA truly deserves to be the best game, but for more comparison I need to play other titles as well. But again time is a factor.

After playing GTA IV, you can’t wish to play any other game. It’s just lovely. It’s mesmerising.